How Willing are You to Make Changes to Your Finances?
The idea of change is compelling. If things are wrong, we make changes to make it better, right? Well, that’s not really how things work with human beings. It turns out that we really don’t like change so much if it involves changing ourselves. We like the idea of change. We really, really want other people to change (especially our spouses and family members). But make changes to ourselves? Nope. We don’t like that idea so much. This is a big reason why people with bad financial situations often never fix things. Fixing involves making changes to ourselves, including the way we think and the way we handle money.
One of the first questions I ask my new clients is, on a scale of 1-10, how open are they to making changes? I often hear 7 or 8 out of 10. Occasionally 9. Sometimes 5 or 6 out of 10. And rarely, 10/10. But even when someone says they’re a 10/10, there’s a qualifier. “I really want change, but don’t tell me to sell my car.” Or, “I’m not open to making changes to my retirement plan”. Things that I had never brought up btw. They pretty much telegraph the things that they know that they should do but are unwilling to do. So, they’re really not a 10/10.
The ones that say 8/10 or 9/10 are trying to show (honestly) that’ they’re really high on the scale and therefore very open to change. So, I ask them what it would take to get to 10/10. They often struggle to answer that question. They’re trying to be honest, but they’re really not anywhere close to 10/10 as 8/10 or 9/10 might suggest. I recently had a client tell me that they were an 8/10, struggled to articulate what would make them 10/10, and within 24 hours they texted me that they were now a 3/10 and didn’t want to continue with coaching. At least that 3/10 was honest & was probably what they were all along. Therefore, they weren’t ready for coaching as much as they tried to talk themselves into it. When they started to see the reality of their dire situation, and the change that (quite obviously) needed to be made, they were out.
In these discussions, it’s actually preferable when people give lower numbers. Like a 4/10 or 5/10. They’re aware that they’re change averse & not trying to pretend otherwise. Since the first step towards making changes is becoming self-aware of our own change averseness, honesty with ourselves is very important. These folks are sometimes in a better position to get to 10/10 than someone who says they are an 8/10.
In reality, although people rarely start at 10/10, fixing tough financial situations will require people to get there. Sooner is way better than later because a lot of time can be wasted trying to get themselves ready to start. Because….fixing finances requires people to do things that they do not want to do. They may need to sell a car that they cannot afford. They may need to (temporarily) cut back on shopping and eating out. They may need to (temporarily) work overtime or pick up a second job. They definitely need to start budgeting and learning how to stay within their plan. Who wants to do that?! Nobody! (Probably many of you reading this post are horrified at the thought of the changes that you’d need to make!) But if they’re a 10/10 on change, they’ll do it anyway. I recently had a client that reacted to an action we were discussing (that they brought up themselves) by saying that they weren’t open to doing it. Then, they pivoted to saying “well, if I’m saying I am a 10/10, then I guess I’d have to do it”. So, they completely flipped around in a matter of seconds & made a really great, and very tough, financial decision. One that was absolutely crucial that they weren’t initially willing to consider. However, If they were a 8/10, well, they would have given themselves room to not take actions that they deemed to be too tough.
In short, change is hard. Changing ourselves is very hard. Changing our financial behaviors is very, very hard. The changes themselves are not actually that hard if we decide to make them. But getting over the mental & emotional hurdle to being willing to make those changes is what makes or breaks our efforts. And the good news is that being willing to do hard things now makes life so much easier down the road!! When we’ve eliminated debt, recaptured the income that used to go to debt payoff, set our priorities and completed our plan, we get to live the life we want to live. That’s well worth the short-term difficulty of making changes!
I’m not saying all of this as a 3rd party observer. 20 years ago, my wife and I had a financial meltdown & we had to make massive changes to fix it. It was really hard! But fortunately, we made those changes, we did get to 10/10 (not immediately, of course) & turned everything around in 18 months. Since then, we’ve gotten to live our lives the way we want. We put our kids through college, we have funds set aside for travel & fun, we’re able to give generously and I retired from Corporate America at age 59. Lots of good stuff! I highly recommend that people get serious about change & cleaning up their finances. Then they can move along towards living their lives the way they want to live it.
If this sounds good to you, but you’re not certain what to do, and maybe a little scared thinking about it, click here to setup a Complementary Consultation with me & find out if having a Financial Coach is a fit.
You can enter your email address below to get notifications every time I make my weekly post.
